Life, or something like it

UK wants gitmo closed... I want the UK closed...

2006-05-10T20:06:00.000-06:00

This is going to be a short one...

The UK wants Gitmo closed... And they want all the prisoners freed. Of course they do, they just let 1000 foreign convicts run free as opposed to being deported, and have provided asylum to airline hijackers.

My friends in the US, take whatever the UK has to say with a grain of salt. Terrorist salt.

It's begun again

2006-01-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

It seems I can't stop ranting wherever I go. And it's happened again... over here. What's worse is that it is an academic forum, and the only posts I've chosen to respond to make me very angry. In fact, it may come to fisticuffs because I have to see the guy in class...

So what do I do?

Do I stfu? Or do I continue to dispell lies and misinformation?

Idiots on the Election Trail

2005-11-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

While driving towards the University on November 30th, 2005, I found myself foaming at the mouth, windows rolled down, screaming at the driver in the gold Saturn on my right. No, I hadn’t just been cut off. I had just witnessed one of the greatest atrocities I had thought was a California only phenomenon. The equation of the Conservative leader to Hitler. Yes, the sign in the rear window, obstructing the view of the driver no doubt, read “Harper = Hitler”.

Well, if Harper is Hitler, then Martin is Mussolini, Layton is Ludendorff, and Duceppe is Drexler. Wow, Ad Hominem Abusive can be fun!

Before you are blinded by the fact that by being disgusted at the fact that equating Harper to Hitler means that I am a staunch Canadian conservative, I need to tell you that I am not. In fact, when the Canadian Reform Alliance Party was formed, I died a little inside. I was quite happy with my Fiscally Conservative, Socially Responsible conservatives under Joe Clark. Then again, there is no point crying over spilled milk. And don't you think for one minute I'm voting Liberal. Uch... Canadian Libertarian, maybe.

So what’s the real issue here? First and foremost, the equation of any modern day political candidate to arguably the most criminally evil person in modern history is despicable at best. Secondly, the use of Ad Hominem Abusive to communicate your political message is about as respectable as calling someone a “poopyhead” on the playground. Arguments should be based on fact, not the fact that you see someone as a genocidal maniac. Finally, we should all be ashamed that we have allowed the political climate to get to this level. When it has become socially acceptable to maliciously libel others, we are a sorry lot indeed.

A Great Loss Indeed...

2005-05-17T18:54:00.000-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, it was announced today that we have lost two fabulous women as we once knew them.

First, and most important, Australian Super Star Kylie Minogue was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. As I type this, I'm listening to her CD "Fever" - one of the few rediculously poppy CDs I own. Superficially, what saddens me is the loss of such a great cheast.

All the better to eat you with, my dear...
Beyond that, cancer is teh sux. So, in conclusion, get well soon, Kylie. I need more good Euro-pop music soon. My supply is running short.

Secondly... Belinda you opportunistic bitch! You ran for the leadership of the Tories, and now you're dragging your (lack of) morals over to the (amoral) Liberals? For shame! You were the type of pragmatic Conservative we, the right/centerists needed. Now how am I supposed to deal with the Ranchers here in Alberta? I died a little in side when the Alliance and the Conservative parties joined - as the right/centerist party shifted far right - and this has only caused more strife.

When Cloning starts to work properly, I'm going to go fetch me Barry Goldwater and have him lead the Canadian Tories. Then, weather notwithstanding, Canada will truly be a paradise.

The world is all fiddle faddle foo...

2005-03-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

Case 1: Muslim Clerics denounce the lesser Satan, Osama Bin Laden.

Case 2: Idiocy is denounced.

Case 3: A man sets himself on fire... in Canada.

Case 4: Lloyd Axeworthy is a douche.

Case 1:
So what's odd about this? The clerics who are denouncing it are Spanish, and are referencing the Madrid train bombing of a year ago. Could it be that the greater Muslim world is sick to death of the atrocities that Muslim extremists are capable of? Sound off, sons of Esaw. Let the world know that you just want peace. Prove to the greater world that Islam is a religion of peace.

Case 2:
So what's odd about this? In light of President Bush's latest initiative to have people stop flooding the court systems with frivolous cases, nothing. In fact, this judge is to be applauded. Maybe this will be the turning point where lawsuits that seem to award idiocy are curbed. But then again, maybe I'm a dreamer.

Case 3:
So what's odd about this? Well, the last time a Vietnamese man set himself ablaze was during the Vienam war... and he was a monk protesting the North Vietnamese's rule. What's even odder about this is that this occured during a Farmer's Protest to the Canadian Liberal government. If this guy hadn't set himself ablaze, I'm sure we'd know what the farmers were protesting about... but sparky just had to ruin it for everyone.

Case 4:
So What's odd about this? Lloyd Axeworthy called the US a one-party state. Canada, my dear friends, has seen a Liberal government every election since the late 70's. So while we may see different parties caucusing for governmental positions, we don't see other parties elected. Gotta love the First Past The Post system. Oh, just in case you missed the point, the US has had Democrats and Republican in government at the same time... just FYI.

On Hockey

2005-02-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

"You said you didn't give a f**k about hockey, and I never saw someone say that before."
- The Tragically Hip, "Fireworks"

Yesterday, shortly after 13:00, the Hockey season was officially cancelled. The owners and players were unable to reach an agreement - which was expected. And I'm sure everyone already knows everything there is to know about this issue, which is a whole lot more than I know.

What I do know, that you probably don't, is that I don't like professional sports. I think they are on par with the WWE and that they serve little purpose, save a reason to promote drunkeness. I understand that a lot of people consider them institutions, but I personally recognize it as a passing fad. Yes, I do understand that approximately 90% of North Americans are conventionalists, so they need to act with the group. But, there are still some 10% that do not need Hockey to continue on with their day to day lives. Hell, I'm just happy with the smack on my nose telling me I'm wrong, and the cookie telling me I've done good.

Before the end of last season, when the strike was imminent, I emoted to a friend that if this season didn't come back, the NHL would never come back. What could be better for a post-conventionalist, such as myself?

You see, it's not as cut and dry as I've recently realized. The Professional Sports industry employs more than the underworked, overpaid, play-whores and their "agents". I have to admit that a large amount of staff are needed to ensure that these events are successful. There is management of the arenas whom will take the largest hit. With no events, and therefore no staff at these events, management's purpose slowly becomes nullified.

Mr. Dick Haskayne once stated that the Enron management should be thrown in jail for upsetting "capitalism in it's purest form for the rest of us." I feel the same way about the hockey play-whores. Their salary is the only thing that sets them apart from the rest of us drunken slobs. Now, without their salary, the only thing that sets them apart is the public's acknowledgement as to level of idiocy that swims around in the gene pool.

What is left for Canada, if professional hockey goes the way of the DoDo? A former institution, baseball, has become as relevant as the Democrats. It's there, but it's only something people do when they are drinking heavily. We could all attend a lacross game, if not to see girls in skirts. And what of Football? Well, Football can stay. Basketball? Not in Canada. And last, and most certainly not least, Soccer has yet to become prevalent beyond high school girls.

Now, then, let's get off hockey.

And on to Dan Rather! I love that unbiased guy who is so not partisan.

Whoop! There it is!

2005-01-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

It is done. Now then, let us get down.

Also, like South Park making fun of AIDS, a radio show was cancelled because they were making fun of the Tsunami victims. You see, the problem is that they didn't wait 22.3 years. That's right, it takes 22.3 years for something tragic to become funny. So what happened in the latter half of 1982 that is now funny?

First Blood was released. But that wasn't that funny

The first lethal injection in the US is done. That's not as funny as the electic chair, though.

The UN passed a resolution condemning the Soviets from invading Afghanistan. It was pretty funny because the Soviets thought that they were going on a nice Arabian adventure. Unfortunately, US foreign policy stated back then that the Mujahideen were the good guys. What an explosive good time!

9 die from taking Tylenol. Tylenol laced with Potassium Cyanide. Not exactly chocolate covered almonds, but tasty nonetheless.

And that's what I thought was funny. Oh yeah, and my conception began.

Democracy for all, boners, and soul proprietorship.

2005-01-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

In a recent, somewhat not shocking, turn of events, Democratic Activists slashed the tires of the Republican vans. These vans were rented as a vehicle of the masses (sorry, that was a bad pun). Effectively, the voters who utilized this service were unable to make it to their voting centres on their own.

Now, rather than persuading others to vote, these so-called activists would rather dissuade those who already vote. That makes so much sense! By cancelling out the vote of those I don't agree with, I can ensure that my opinion counts more. Viva Democracy!

And in other news, massive boners are good for your heart.

And I've heard of a company owning souls (see: Ikea, the 10th circle of hell), but this is rediculous!

The dark side made me do it...

2005-01-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Now all those who are anti-fat can blame everything transsaturated related on The Dark Side. French Fries, I am your father.

Also, today marks an excellent day. During a debate two weeks ago, a misguided young lady argued that she didn't like GWB. The only retort I found fitting was, "4 More Years." Now, that has been confirmed. The Inaugural Address, as performed by GWB, was both a nice thing to read and full of hope. I know there will be the Liberal Left angry at whatever he does, but they can kiss my whole ass. Condi has been nominated, but delayed. It will be a good year, once things get rolling.

How can you not agree?

Return to Bloggiscence

2005-01-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

You again?

So now that my previous semester (from hell) is over, and now that I am sufficiently rested from my extensively boring winter break, it is time to pick up where I've left off.

I read the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion today. It's an interesting read. I wish I had heard about it earlier... I might have been able to tailor my actions appropriately to reflect the words written in these protocols.

Speaking of Hamas, I was on my way out of school today, and an overt Neo-Nazi turns to his female companion and remarks, "You gotta check out this song that I downloaded from the Hamas website." I turn to look at him. He continues, "It's not on there anymore, though." As I'm leaving the elevator, I turned around and shot at him, "You're just mad because we Control The Banks." He stood there, dumbstruck, unable to believe that a Jew was admitting to controlling the banks. Maybe he'll think twice before using on of OUR banks.

Idiot.

And you heard it here second, "Abbas makes peace offer to Israel." My theory is that the intifada are going to make pieces of Abbas.

Story of my life.

R.I.P. Rodney

2004-10-05T21:36:00.000-06:00

Mr. Dangerfield, I've never gotten the chance to tell you this... but I think I love you.

When I first heard you utter those magical words, "What? Did somebody step on a duck?" after you flatulated in the movie 'Caddyshack', I knew you were my kind of comedian. Every performance of yours, I cherished. I can still remember your facial expression when you spoke those wonderful words, "Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with." I laughed at so many of your jokes, and wish that I had seen you perform live.

But now, now you're dead. And I don't much like that. I don't much like that one bit.

I know you've changed my life for the better, and I know you've added so much good to offset so much bad. Rest in peace, Mr. Dangerfield.

... Not because it is hard

2004-10-04T11:38:00.000-06:00

We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too. - JFK, Rice University, 09/12/62

Today, ladies and gentlemen, the profit motive triumphed. In case you haven't heard, the Ansari X-Prize was won by Scaled Composites SpaceShipOne.

Now, what does that mean? Primarily, it means that Scaled Composites, funded mainly by Paul Allen of Microsoft, was just awarded $10M for their efforts. In addition to this, Virgin's investment in Scaled Composites has just paid off. Their name was tatood on the arse of SpaceShipOne.

But really, what does that mean? Does it mean that we are going to be going to space? All things considered, yes. For 90 seconds. At $200 000 a pop.

What else does it mean? Were certain barriers broken in the pursuit of leaving this rock? Yes, yes they were. Instead of having a ship launch from the ground, they strapped SpaceShipOne to White Knight (an airplane), and had it launch while in the air. That's cool, actually, as it saves on the required fuel for launch. But don't missles do this already?

What about the landing? Was that revolutionary? Well, no. Have your ship glide for a while --> deploy landing gear --> land.

I hate to be cynical about this, but I really am. I really want to go to space. I really want humanity to go to space. But I don't see it happening any time soon, just based on the fact that no new technologies were employed.

Oh, on the plus side, this makes up for what happened with Shuttle Columbia.

I could just die...

2004-10-02T13:36:00.000-06:00

I'm so embarrased, I could just die!

I'm so drunk, I could just die!

I'm so fabulous, I could just die!

I'm so communist, I could just avoid my taxes... and die!

GMail accounts

2004-09-27T19:43:00.000-06:00

I have 6 GMail accounts to give away.

If you want one, post a line from Jabberwocky (make sure to include your current e-mail address here), and I'll send you off an invite.

Watch, no one will reply. I will be a GMail horder.

OMG, you've killed Camel!!! (You Bastards!)

2004-09-26T23:48:00.000-06:00

Link via PBase

Now you never hear about Camel bombings, do you?

"The AP Reports,

Three city blocks were shaken today in downtown Jerusalem as an Islamacide Camel Bomb erupted at 1:21 this morning. Residents of this otherwise quiet neighbourhood were found vomiting as they tried to clean bits of hump, hoof, and tounge off of their windows and walls.

A young boy, with a head shaped like a football began to repeat the backstory he gave to his camel, but was silenced by a redheaded matriarch.

Hamas, an off shoot of another Jew-hating organization, has claimed responsibility for this Camel Bombing. It is the third Camel Bombing this week to strike the suburbs of Jerusalem. City fire crews have been dispatched to assist the residents in their clean up."

And of course the follow up.

"Reuters reports,

It was a tragic day in the town of Jenin today, as Israel retaliated for last week's Camel Bombing. Today, Shiek Al Ackblak Mohammad was covered with honey and wild bears were then released into the town of Jenin. 26 children were frightened, and wet themselves.

The UN has begun drafting a resolution condemning Israel's actions.

Socially responsible bloggers have begun petitioning both Canada and Russia in an attempt to restrict the importing of Brown Bears into Israel, as they lead to unnecessary death and destruction.
"

Wouldn't that be weird?

High Holiday Haiku

2004-09-23T13:16:00.000-06:00

Inspired by JewGoo.

I am so hungry
But I have to Doochin now
Repent on your own

I hate this fasting
I would rather eat turkey
I am your rabbi

I like singing songs
But not these Jewish prayers
Outkast is more fun

Three years ago...

2004-09-11T13:36:00.000-06:00

Three years ago, I woke up late. I decided to oversleep, as I didn't feel like going to class that morning. After the usual morning routine, I stumbled my way up the stairs to hear my mom say, "the world trade center has just been attacked." I didn't think much of it, as I really wasn't thinking. I got into my car, put on a CD, and proceeded to drive to school. Upon arriving, most of the students were gathering in the cafeteria where a TV with make-shift bunnyears had been set up. By the time I sat down, the second tower had come down. We watched, in awe, as one man was being named for orchestrating the attacks.

Being the juvinile idiots we were, we pretended to be airplanes and rammed out heads into each other's torsos. Being the juvinile idiots we were, we didn't even take the human cost into account. All we saw were two buildings and two airplanes blowing up. All we saw was distorted by the desensitization we had been exposed too all those years before.

And now, three years later, I think I truly understand. I truly understand that the world governments are ineffective in stopping this sort of thing from happening. I truly understand that as long as there are monetary incentives to attack the 'Western Infidels', we will keep being attacked. I truly understand that the American people have more to fear from the Militaristic Marketing Campaigns telling them that all is okay than they do from foreign attackers. I truly understand that the UN cannot, and will not, do anything to save those being massacred in Sudan. I truly understand that Chechnya is an internal issue for Russia that affects the whole world. I truly understand that self determination, while a noble goal, does not need to be achieved by spilling the blood of children. I truly understand that there are a lot of people out there who don't deserve to be called people.

So before making jokes, racially charged ones especially, just remember the human price that is being paid right now. All we do is talk, and people continue to die. All we do is joke, and people continue to die.

Just in case...

2004-09-09T11:07:00.000-06:00

Just in case you thought dogs weren't self aware, Dog Shoots Man. When will people learn that gangland violence affects us all?

Just in case you thought Ken Jennings was unstoppable, rumor would argue otherwise. Yes, it's pretty crazy, but who are we to argue with rumor?

Just in case you were afraid to admit that you didn't know the meaning of the expression "Be afriad, be very afraid," Robot devours flies to sustain itself. The big question is what will cause this robot to develop a taste for human flesh and have it attack us, like some unholy automotan...

Just in case you've never seen "Titan A.E.", now's your chance.

Just in case meep meep meep, meep meep meep meep meep. Meep meep meep!!!

Reflections on a theme

2004-09-02T11:16:00.000-06:00

Stabby! Man attacks dog with sword. Penis envy to follow.

And that's the last time this week I plan on doing that --^.

Now, why have I gone and posted all these obscure news articles, and attempted to make a light situation of them? It's not because no one else does the same thing...

I've been toying with the idea of writing a book that deals with the Degeneration Of Society. I've had an odd feeling lately that things aren't as they should be... rather, as they could be. I don't really want to get into my nutbar theories here, as I'm slowly working on what could be called my opus.

So while I'm not posting these excuses for news, you should keep checking out the various news sites to spot the oddities. There are plenty of them. Consider yourself warned.

More farked up news...

2004-09-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

Poit! Man makes love to pig. Pig squeals. Sister is embarrased. Society continues to degenerate.

Narf! Man kills three year old girl in 1969. I did a lot of things in 1969 too. Being incredibly morbid wasn't one of them. I was more down with landing on the moon.

Troz! Headless passenger spins in grave. Family claims to not notice.

Zort! We never had these sort of 'get out of jail free' cards when I was in high school. Wish I did though. I could have escaped all those hard lunch hours, on my own... with my friends... and my tuna sandwitch.

Dude... wtf?

2004-08-30T11:25:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, the news is really odd. I mean... really odd.

Exhibit A. Man decapitated, friend keeps driving, goes to sleep. And in other news, Moonshine sales reach a record high in Georgia.

Exhibit B. French citizens kidnapped in Iraq. They will be released when France repeals it's head covering law. Jeez, maybe the Jews and baseball fans should take hostages too.

Exhibit C. Ten year old Billy pops a cap in his daddy's ass. Gangstas be warned, this lil homey is straight up ghetto, biatch.

Exhibit D. Noam Chomsky inspires hate crime. Jew on Jew violence. Don't be hatin'.

Exhibit E. Palestinians fast. Except on weekends. And days that end in 'y'.

And people wonder why I prefer to read 'The Economist' as opposed to other novels.

Bask in the orange glow...

2004-08-27T23:56:00.000-06:00

Stolen from my Term Paper for Poli283 from last year:
The Pentagon march, as featured in the movie Forrest Gump, took place on October 21st, 1967, in Washington, DC. The initial idea of the march was to go to the Pentagon, levitate it, and make it turn orange. Once the color had changed, the protestors would know that all the evil spirits had been driven out. Fortunately, due to the laws of Physics, the Pentagon did not move.

Well, it would seem that we have a new group of hippies on our hands (or rather, their hands and kness). The BOP Collective, Brooklyn Orgastic Politics Collective, plans to have a giant orgy in an undisclosed location at the Brooklyn waterfront. But wait, it gets better. The "life energy" collected from this "Orgone" will be "redirected" to make it rain during the Republican National Convention.

Honestly, this couldn't be more tittilating. People humping and bumping, all in the name of George W. Bush. Sure, the guy may be the biggest douche on the planet (to paraphrase Penn and Teller), but he's definitely the cleaner of two dicks. C'mon, throw me a frickin bone here, people.

Like you weren't thinking about those innuendos...

Finally?

2004-08-12T11:22:00.000-06:00

Lately, with all the trouble and turmoil that's been going on in the Middle East, there has been a lot of criticism of the Muslim / Arab world. A large amount of this criticism stems from the fact that the no Arab is actively denouncing the events of September 11th. You'll get no argument of that criticism from me.

But to those who have grouped all Arabs together, I need you to read this. Sure, Zakiyah Abu Sneineh is an idiot:

Zakiyah Abu Sneineh lost her 60-year-old husband in the blast, which also critically injured her six-year-old grandson, but said a Palestinian could not have been responsible. "Arabs couldn't have killed him, only Israelis," she said as she waited for word on how the boy was doing.

But there are others who aren't:

"Why are you defending them?" Palestinian Nader Omar asked a man with a leg injury who said it was too early to judge the bombers. "They are wrong. We should raise our voice against them. These guys don't use their minds."

But before I get too excited, an evaluation of what caused the denounciation of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades:

Drive to Jerusalem with a 20 kg bomb

Get stopped at a checkpoint

Toss your bag under another Palestinian's car

Detonate it

Run Away!

So, the only way for we, the Western World, to see a Moderate Muslim is to have them start killing each other.

Wait, that's not being moderate at all...

Watch your leg, someone might hump it...

2004-08-02T21:39:00.000-06:00

Today's title is a lyric from the RHCP's song, 'Apache Rose Peacock'. Now what does that have to do with anything, you might asking? Well, settle in dear friend, and I might rant at you.

You see, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, like so few other successful bands out there, have been making music long before the advent of computers. "But what's wrong with computers?" Well... nothing, actually. The problem is is that so many musicians out there are use computers in their studio to tweak their instruments to sound the best, and then when they take to the stage... they suck. And I'm not just talking like Hooverphonic sucking (cause they are really good, actually), I'm talking holy-hoover-batman sucking. These so called musicians can barely operate their instruments, let alone rock my socks off.

So what sparked my rant? A couple things.

A friend
A MMM interview with Prince
Red Hot Chili Peppers' CD 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik'

So I was chatting with my friend about music a few months ago, and he remarked that he greatly preferred a band that sounds better in the studio than on stage. I asked him why. He said that all of his favorite bands suck live. I quietly thought to myself, "That's because they are all gangsta and rocker wannabes." I didn't say it aloud though (obviously).

Last night, I was watching an performance and interview with Prince on Much More Music. Ok, before the Prince jokes start flying, I have to say that I really like Funk. And Musicology is funky. So one of the questions asked was what Prince thought of the current state of music. [FYI, in case you don't know, he has been in a legal battle with his old label due to their love for formulaic pop (or something to that effect).] Prince retorted that with the Internet, such as it is, the real musicians are able to create, record, and distribute all from their basement. And as such, all the crappy musicians should go away, right along with the outdated record labels. I honestly couldn't agree more. And right after he finished that, he pointed to his band's set up, and said, "These guys are the real thing." And they didn't suck, either.

I was first introduced to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' disc at summer camp in 1993. Almost two years after it had debuted, it was still on everyone's CD player. Two years after it had debuted, it was still getting heavy radio play. Many years after it's debut, the RHCP were the special guests on The Simpsons. If that isn't a testiment to their awesomeness, (don't you even dare mentioning N'Sync on the Simpsons) I don't know what is. But what of the RHCP now? Well, yeah, their new stuff kinda sucks... but it doesn't wholly suck. 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik' was definitely the pinnacle of those four players' recording career, and I doubt anything else they create will be as good. But damned if some of their new stuff doesn't rock.

There is a lyric on Jurassic 5's disc 'Power in Numbers' that states, "How many times I gotta hear some fanatic in my ear / Tellin me to keep it real when they ain’t payin my bills / Or feeding my kids". Well, unfortunately Mr. Akil, if you aren't keeping it real, then the next guy will be. And unfortunately, Mr. Akil, your 'street cred' won't carry you much further, unless you get back to keeping it real. (side note: J5 keep it real)

So what does my friend, Prince, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Jurassic 5 have in common? Well, they were all featured in this rant. But besides that? They are all variations on the current state of the recording industry. None better or worse than each other... just simple variations. Keep it real, y'all.

Today's episode was brought to you by the letter P (for predicatability)

2004-07-28T00:11:00.000-06:00

Oh. My. Gawd. And in other news, there is no other news.

Everyone (Leftists) always attest that the United Nations is a perfect forum for discussion. I agree with them there. The General Assembly does a whole lot of talking. But when nothing gets done, people start dying. [follow the links for full effect, and to save me some typing]

Oh, sure, when it comes to something that is in the public interest - such as infringing on the little guy, then the General Assembly is all for the a collective condemnation.

I can understand why we Jews need to have some sort of conspiracy. Everyone else has one...

Edits and Updates:
It would seem The Economist is one step further than I am. They are so smart. It's paid subscription content, but it is worth the read.

WAR BEGINS!!!

2004-07-24T13:28:00.000-06:00

With a W. Respek.

So in my travels to the US of A, I've been watching a lot of CNN. And when I've been watching said CNN television, I've heard a lot of the 9/11 commission report which just happened to have been released (July 22, 2004) eight days after Lord Butler's report (14 July, 2004).

So rather than commenting on the specifics of these reports, I feel I need to address the reports themselves, and what kind of political issue they represent.

For those who don't know, the Butler Report was compiled by Lord Butler, of British Fame. The report addressed the issues surrounding the Iraq war, the problems with the British participation in said war, and the information that caused the British to participate in the war. The report did not name any specific names, nor did it finger point, when assigning blame. Tony Blair's approval rating fell heavily over the past two years. It's soon to be re-election time in Britian.

The 9/11 Commission's report, if you weren't paying attention, focused on what fatal flaws were exploited leading up to the Two Towers coming down on September 11th, 2001. The report layed equal blame on both Bush and Clinton administrations, but didn't go beyond that. Now, I know you Americans loved your Big Willy Style, so if the Bush Administration made the same mistakes as the Clinton Administration, then nothing bad could have happened... right? George W. Bush's approval rating fell heavily over the past two years. It's re-election time in the United States.

So now what do these reports accomplish? Publically, they acknowledge the fact that no one is to blame, rather a collective "mistake". Unfortunately, and this is all conjecture (of course), these reports serve a totally different purpose. Privately, the powers that be know that there was a major screw up. Privately, they acknowledge the fact that the general populus needs to be reassured that all is okay. Jadakiss asked "why Bush had to knock down the towers", but what Jadakiss should be asking is 'why the industry is so ill equipt to handle incoming threats?'

So what purpose to these reports serve? Well, just like Michael Moore can put out propoganda assuring us that all is not okay, the government can put out 'reports' assuring us that all is okay. Okay? It just seems 'funny' that these reports came out around the same time, both dealing with the "major western-world issues", and both before an election. Question everything.

Weekly book recommendation:
Kavalier and Clay. I'm going to buy it. You should too.

Changes from yesterday...

2004-07-14T20:56:00.000-06:00

Ok, sure, the Universe Sucks Balls.

But it took a break from sucking today.

Last night I went back and reconciled my TELUS bills to figure out what a package that allows hosting would cost. Well, I discovered that TELUS was charging me between $5 and $9 extra per month - totalling $67.33. So I called them up, and they stated that, "Yes, [they] were over charging me." So to rectify things, they're "giving [me] a month free of Internet access, and will still apply a credit to my account.

Today marks the day of gainful employment. I start working in the office at Mission in Calgary. Decent job, great guys, good perks. Yay.

While I may not be going to Vegas, I'm still going to San Francisco for six days. It should be sweet, considering I have a nice wad of cash to go with (thanks Dad :-). Insert a random statement about more money than brains. I can forsee some jetskiing!

I went hiking today. I saw some cows. I saw some mountains. ... Man, I love getting back to nature.

Oh yeah... never look a cow straight in the eyes. It gets spooked and will poo. That's gross.

I swear the Universe is out to get me this year...

2004-07-13T23:44:00.000-06:00

I hope I don't turn this into a livejournal... but...

So I just turned 21 a few days ago. Let's go through the shoddy things that have happened since.

Three people (out of 25 that RSVP'd) turned up for my Birthday shindig. This resulted in me spending my Birthday with a close friend and four 17 year olds down at the Calgary Stampede. I hate the Calgary Stampede. Bunch of steers and queers.

I was supposed to be going to Vegas for a week. My cousin's boyfriend does videography, and was supposed to be filming an Adidas something-or-other out there. He got word today that of the six permits he needs to film, one was not approved.

I used TELUS for my internet connection. Monday night (Tuesday Morning), they decided that they were going to start filtering port 25. This means I have no way to retrieve any of my e-mail. Why not? Cause I thought I'd save some cash by hosting my website and e-mail on my box.

I've had chronic heartburn (acid reflux) for the past three days. No matter what I eat, or how many heartburn meds I take, it keeps on burning.

So all in all, fuck you you stupid fucking Universe. Stop being such a bitch and give me my comeuppins. I'm a good guy. I smile at the elderly. I pay my taxes.

Ugh. I'm going to bed.

Not your average White Picket Fence

2004-07-12T23:21:00.000-06:00

On July 9th, the day which I was born, the International Court of Justice found against Israel's excuse for national security. That's right, the Wall (aka: Security Fence).

It's funny, this whole conundrum started with a Wall. In September of 2000, then chairman of Israel's Likud Party, Ariel Sharon, decided to go for a stroll on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. At that point in the game, the Israelis and Palestinians were quite close to reaching some equivalent to détente wrapped in a tasty appeasement exterior. But Sharon's visit gave the PLO the fodder needed to spark their "I'm not listening to your offers of peace" Intifada. There would be no such thing as detente in this hotbed for a long while.

During February of the following year, the Israeli elections would take place. The residents of The Holy Land were to decide whether or not to keep Ehud Barak around to continue playing the appeasement game with Yasser Arafat, or whether to bring Ariel Sharon, a man who successfully removed Yasser Arafat from Israel, in for a hard-line government. Barak stated during the election that, "a stronger Israeli response to the Palestinian Intifada was no solution." And to an extent, he may have been right. But ultimately, the Israelis elected Sharon to crush this blatent violation of the sanctity of life.

During the Cold War, escalation was a scary reality. If the Russians had a nuke, the Americans had to have two nukes. If the Cubans had a revolution, the Americans had to incite a revolution elsewhere. What no one seems to realize these days, is that escalation is still just as scary a principle as it was during the Cold War.

So where does that take us to now? For one, it takes us to some abysmally high number of dead – both Israeli and Palestinian. Secondly, it gives copious amounts of highly illogical (see: the petition to Caterpillar Inc. to stop selling tractors in Israel because a Lefty tried to pull a Tiananmen Square stunt) protest material for Leftists. Hand in hand with said illogical material is gross condemnation and broad sweeping statements in regards to the state of events in Israel. But more importantly, it takes us to a long stretch of concrete and barbed-wire.

During the 16th and 17th centuries, the Great Wall of China was annexed to ensure that invaders from the north would be kept out. Now, show me where, if anywhere, in the history books the Mongol Horde complains to the world community that the Great Wall of China is 'unfriendly.' And before making the comparison of the Israel / Palestine wall to the Berlin Wall, take into account that the Berlin Wall was another Cold War sphere of influence event. As the Soviets described the wall, it was an 'antifascist wall of protection.' Accordingly, the Soviets never publicly acknowledged that the wall interfered with daily life. Now then, if no one was allowed to leave, this wall was seemingly more of an impregnable containment device than anything else.

I seem to recall Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Vice Premier, publicly acknowledge that the Security Fence would impede Palestinian daily life. But don't you worry, the UN wants to get the 'martyrs' back on the busses so that those quirky 'martyrs' can swiftly find their 42 virgins up in heaven. Douglas Adams was right; 42 is the answer.

The International Court of Justice (ICJ) ruled on Friday, July 9th, that the "separation fence contravenes international law, that it must be dismantled, and that compensation must be paid to the Palestinian owners of property confiscated for its construction." In fact, the judges in the ICJ are not convinced that the specific course Israel has chosen for The Wall was necessary to attain its security objectives. 14 of the 15 judges found against the security fence; the only dissenter being the American Judge, Thomas Buerghenthal.

From Ha’Aretz, "Most of the justices believed that in building the fence, Israel violated international humanitarian law, by infringing on Palestinians' freedom of movement, freedom to seek employment, education and health."

First, let us assume that the ICJ's rulings hold some water. And let us postulate for a moment that the UN has the ability to pass a resolution that places sanctions on Israel. Obviously, and it is obvious, the US would then proceed to boycott the UN and we would have us another League of Nations fiasco.

We could still postulate that the ICJ's rulings held some water. But, as the BBC's reporter emoted, this is just a parrot victory for the PLO. Israel is not compelled to abide by any ruling passed. And what can the PLO do about it? "Suicide squad... ATTACK! Oh wait, there seems to be a wall in our way."

Addressing the Justices’ view that Israel infringed on the Palestinians’ freedoms and such, one would have to take the stance that the Palestinians are in fact citizens of Israel. As it stands right now, they have no 'official' state declared. This makes them squatters. If anything, Israel should be approaching the ICJ to have the Palestinians forcibly removed, as they are infringing on Israelis' freedoms in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. If one side can forget the Oslo Accord, surely the other can as well?

The fact of the matter is, and Ehud Olmert stated this best, "Terror built the wall, and lack of terror will unbuild it." The number of suicide bombers has fallen in number from 60-plus in the first half of 2002 to 17 in the first half of 2003, and six so far this year. Six. And the wall isn't even finished yet. I’m not sure how the world community is able to justify condemning this wall, but it would seem that they are opposed to Israeli security.

Terrorism is a long-term problem. I anxiously await the day when the need to have such a wall disappears.

Welcome, welcome

2004-07-12T23:04:00.000-06:00

Well, I've hopped on the bandwagon. Next thing you know, I'll be rockin' a friendster account.

I've created this blog so that I can post my thoughts, rants, raves, and ramblings. Maybe one of these days I'll migrate totally to my server. For now, blogger is just grand!